Picture Book Endings Day 4: Historical Fiction

Today, a look at the finish of Nine for California, by Sonia Levitin.

It begins: “Pa sent a letter by stage. “Come to California, my dears. I am lonely without you. In the letter was a big bank note, all the money Pa had in the world. He had worked in the gold fields for a whole year. “What good is gold,” Pa wrote, “without my family.”

Young Amanda then relates the rough 21 day journey. The stagecoach is filled with her family of six, plus three grumpy grownups, so she has to sit on the sack her mama packed with "everything we'll need." Throughout the trip Amanda gets bored but adventure arrives in the form of Indians, a buffalo stampede, and a robbery. Mama uses up her bag of tricks to calm the kids (and even ward off buffalo). By the time the family arrives in California and reunites with Pa, the adult passengers have come to appreciate Mama's resourcefulness.

The ending: “When we were settled, Ma and I stuffed the sack with goose feathers. On winter nights we would lie on it, all five of us, sometimes Mama too, rocking and swaying, pretending we were in the stagecoach bound for California again.”

In this twist, Amanda, her siblings and even her ma are nostalgic for the trip that was at turns monotonous, scary and uncomfortable. The sack, which played a key role from the beginning of the story, becomes a souvenir for the entire trip. Instead of sitting on it, Amanda can now lie on it, daydreamy, recalling the bumpy movement and her adventures. The reader is left with a heartening, cozy scene that is set in the past, but repeats itself (on winter nights we would lie on it).

The last sentence (vivid and as rhythmic as the motion it describes) speaks of the importance of family (hinted at from Pa’s loneliness) , the human need for adventure, and a means of holding on to happy moments when they pass.

Sonia Levitin graciously provided me with this insight into the ending of the book:

"The idea came from an early pioneer diary I read, the diary of Mary Walker, an early Oregon pioneer. Many years after the trek she spoke of how it was to be rocked to sleep in the covered wagon. She became somewhat demented in her old age and used to sit on her old saddle, rocking and swaying...and remembering."

Have you been moved by the endings of other historical fiction pbs? How does the author create the emotion?

Picture Book Endings Day 3: Realistic Fiction

How do authors wrap up realistic stories? Consider the classic The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keats.

The book begins “One winter morning Peter woke up and looked out the window. Snow had fallen during the night. It covered everything as far as he could see.”

The recap: he puts on his snowsuit and explores different ways of walking in the snow. He observes the snowball fight of big boys, since he’s not old enough to join them yet. He builds a snowman, slides, etc. Finally he makes a snowball, puts it in his pocket for tomorrow, and enters his warm house. He tells his mom about his adventures and thinks about them in the bath. Before going to bed he makes the rueful discovery that his snowball has disappeared. He dreams that the sun has melted all the snow.

The end: “but when he woke up his dream was gone. The snow was still everywhere. New snow was falling!

After breakfast he called to his friend from across the hall, and they went out together into the deep, deep snow.”

A sweet, reassuring, ending. All accomplished with simplicity and restraint. The “souvenir” of his happy snow day is gone forever, but new snow has arrived. Emphasis is conveyed through “everywhere,” the exclamation point, and the repetition of “deep.” The scene resembles the beginning, but it’s different. This time Peter chooses a friend to go out with. He is more experienced now- he has learned that you must enjoy snow in the moment, because it’s transitory. He has played in it on his own, and now he wants to share it (socializing was foreshadowed in the big boy scene).

This is an ending that circles back to the start, but shows the character has changed. Unlike the many children’s book protagonists who return home at story’s close, Peter is embarking on a new adventure. The reader goes out with him into the wonderland of snow.

Are there realistic endings that you find poignant?

Picture Book Endings Day 2: Fantasy

What makes a satisfying conclusion to a fantasy text? Many endings resonate and seem inevitable, because they echo the beginning of the story. Diary of Worm by Doreen Cronin is a good example. It starts with:

“March 20. Mom says there are three things I should always remember:

1. The earth gives us everything we need.

2. When we dig tunnels, we help take care of the earth

3. Never bother Daddy when he’s eating the newspaper.”

The ensuing diary includes humorous entries about worm’s friendship with spider, school days, his stress about fishing season, getting stepped on, nightmares about giant birds. The penultimate entry lists three good things about being a worm.

The ending:

“It’s not always easy being a worm. We’re very small, and sometimes people forget that we’re even here. But like Mom always says, the earth never forgets we’re here.”

This conclusion summarizes the book and makes a connection with children- who are little, and easily overlooked.

What a brilliant closer. That last sentence recalls the earlier advice of Mom regarding earth ( also brings up associations of mother/earth). The personification of earth is poetic, leaves the reader with the comfy feeling of everything-is-relatedness, and strongly (note the use of “never”) affirms that even small creatures are appreciated and have their role. A deep way to end a hilarious story!

Like the ending of All Pigs Are Beautiful (the book discussed here yesterday), this finish refers back to the beginning, it sums up the story, and in spare language creates emotional impact. There are other types of endings for fantasy texts.

Which ones resonate with you? Why?

Picture Book Endings - Day 1

Through next Monday, the Cat & The Fiddle dishes up thoughts on picture book endings.

Much has been written about famous openers and favorite first lines. No one can deny the importance of the beginning paragraph in establishing story elements, and snaring the reader.

Although they're not as quotable (because their impact depends on context), endings are equally crucial. Beginnings are all about promise, but endings have the harder work of following through. It's the last lines that determine whether or not a story has left a successful emotional impact.

For Non-Fiction Monday, a look at the affective ending of All Pigs Are Beautiful by Dick King-Smith.

This book is somewhat of a mash-up. It’s written in first person POV and relates personal experiences, but includes informational material and side-bar factoids.

APAB begins: “I love pigs. I don’t care if they’re little pigs or big pigs, with long snouts or short snouts, with ears that stick up or ears that flop down. I don’t mind if they’re black or white or ginger or spotted. I just love pigs.”

Emotion conveyed through repetition, detail, description, all with an honest, conversational tone. Putting aside E.B. White’s lovable Wilbur (remember, he needed a spider to convince him of his worth) the outpouring of pig-aphilia is surprising. Pigs are not fluffy and cuddly- they’re associated with messiness, filth, ugliness. Which makes the reader wonder why the writer loves them so much. Stay tuned.

The writer relates loving anecdotes about his boar Monty (a pale white who liked to wallow in mud and be scratched between the ears) and general information about pigs (i.e. “Each piglet chooses its own private teat and returns to it for every feeding.”). He describes pigs' commonalities with humans (they can be moody and stubborn, their moms are nurturing, etc.) and suggests several things they might be saying if you understood their grunts and squeaks. "This food is really excellent, yum, yum." etc.

The book ends with: “How you noticed how often I’ve said that pigs are like people? That’s one of the reasons I like them so much. There is one big difference, though. People can be good-looking or just ordinary-looking or plain ugly. But all pigs are beautiful.”

Why does this work?

The question is an effective way of summarizing the book, and it grabs the reader's attention.

The description of people recalls the description of pigs in the beginning paragraph, creating a satisfying circle.

The last sentence is earned by what has come before. “All pigs are beautiful” is a conclusion that’s strong and surprising given the reputation of pigs in popular culture, but we understand why the author feels this way. It’s his intimacy with pigs, his affection for them, that makes them beautiful in his eyes. The unadorned language rings true.

What non-fiction pb endings do you admire? Why?

Tomorrow, a look at the ending of a popular fantasy picture book.

P.S. Humongous thanks to the Cooperative Children's Book Center for choosing Tyrannosaurus Math as one of the best concept books of 2010.

Tricks of the Trade: Revision Tips from Picture Book Authors

Today TC & TF features revision tips from authors who have taught in UCLA Extension’s Writers Program. Including yours truly.

Why ? Because I’m currently tweaking a manuscript, and have been pondering the revision process itself. I wondered what tricks my comrades had up their sleeves. Here's what they had to say.

Caroline Arnold:

After I've done all the usual grammar and syntax corrections, cutting and pasting, and I think I'm getting close, I always read my manuscript aloud. Even with books for older readers that are not meant as read-alouds, this helps me hear if my text is flowing smoothly.

Merrily Kutner:

Here’s my tip: when revising, check to see if you’ve used active not passive writing. Passive writing tells rather than shows. When writing actively, the specific verb you choose is your most valuable tool and many times saves words. So, pick verbs that describe exactly how the character is acting; alternate words for “sat” carry different emotional meanings (perched, slouched, squat). The subject and verb contain the important information in each sentence so keep those elements close together toward the front of the sentence for greatest impact. Sentences that start with “there was,” “there is,” and “there are” are telling and most always passive.

Example:
Passive—The leaves were raked into piles by Mark and John.
Active—Mark and John raked the leaves.

Although the first sentence is acceptable it isn’t a strong one. If you make Mark and John the subjects and put the “rakes” directly in their hands, you’ll create a more active and vivid picture for readers. Also, if you’re stumped where to revise just try to cut each page by 30 words…it will add up and get your word count down.

Alexis O’Neill:

Make sure that at least one person in your writers' group is a ruthless chopper. When you can't find one more word to eliminate from your precious manuscript, give The Chopper a target word count and invite her to cut cut cut. This is how I got my 700-word book review down to the required 250 words. And, on that word diet, it read beautifully!

Ann Whitford Paul:

It’s been said, “An apple a day keeps the doctor away.” I say, “The willingness and ability to revise will keep rejection letters away.” Try new approaches. Imagine your story is a pippin apple. Maybe if you told it from a different viewpoint, it would turn into a macintosh or delicious apple. Share your apple with other growers. A critique group will catch things that you hadn’t considered and offer suggestions for improvement. And don’t expect everything to come together overnight. An apple tree takes years to produce an apple. You might take years to produce a story. Enjoy the process and the taste of accomplishment when you finally get an offer will be all the sweeter.

Barney Saltzberg:

First and foremost, LEAVE YOUR EGO AT HOME, Preferably in a closet with the door closed!

Practical tips: I find that since I write on the computer, it helps me to print out what I'm working on so I can read my story on paper. I read it with a pen or pencil and make my edits on the page. I will then go back, save a new draft and add the changes I have made. Since I write picture books, I do read my work out loud. It's helpful to 'hear' they rhythm of what I'm reading.

At some point in the process when I think I'm close to being finished, I might have someone else read my work out loud to see how the story works. I know how to 'read' what I've written, but someone else might emphasize different things in my story. Having them read the story without my setting it up, or explaining things, is a way to see if they understand what I'm trying to say. We tend to defend or explain what we've written. People want to 'get' our work. If it's not making sense to another person, don't think of it as an attack, think of it as an opportunity to re-examine what you have just written and find a way to make the story more compelling and clear.

April Halprin Wayland:

When I first wrote New Year at the Pier—A Rosh Hashanah Story, illustrated by Stéphane Jorisch (Dial), the main character was a 10-year-old girl. My editor, Lauri Hornik, suggested making the main character younger, more in keeping with the picture book audience.

At first I was cranky. I liked the story just fine, thank you. But my friend Janet Wong said, Just try it. So I tried it. I made the little brother into the main character. Since he was younger, he couldn’t write a list of the things he wanted to apologize for….which sent me in a new direction and did wonders for the book.

Huh. My editor was right….imagine that!

So if you want to rewrite something but you don’t know where to begin, here’s a blog post about looking at something from a completely different point of view.

Michelle Markel:

For me, the hardest part of revision is keeping the love alive. Sometimes you go on MANY dates with your manuscript. Some of them don't end so well. How can you rekindle the spark of the first drafts? (don’t throw them out- lest you forget those magical moments!) Read some poetry or other inspired writing before looking at your own. Stimulate your imagination with regards to your main character or setting. Take field trips, go back to the library, use Google images or Youtube.

Or do the opposite. Ignore your story. You two may need some time apart. Indulge in other activities and see how long you can bear living without each other. Arrange to meet when you’re good and ready. Something mysterious may occur the next time you meet- the grace of a solution.

What works for you?

P.S. Revision is one of the topics covered in Writing the Picture Book, a six week Saturday afternoon class I'll be teaching this Spring through UCLA Extension. Catalog on-line in February.

Thanks to Kate Narita for posting cool lesson ideas for Tyrannosaurus Math, as well as an interview with me today.

Math Books Have Feelings Too

When I was in elementary school during the Mad Men era, math was drill and kill. Math was presented as a useful tool,  a way to manage money and measure yardage and lumber. By the time I was in high school, yawning through a trigonometry class,  Math seemed like its own closed off universe, one I wanted to visit as infrequently as possible.

So I'm delighted by math books that approach the subject with a sense of awe, or use math metaphorically. My hope is that children will develop an early appreciation for the subject. Our lives are filled with losses, additions, divisions  and multiplications….

 Here are five of my favorites:

Zero is the Leaves on The Tree by Betsy Franco

In this book zero means stillness, absence, silence and more:

Zero is "the sound of snowflakes landing on your mitten,"

"the ripples in the pool before the first swimmer jumps in."

(Full disclosure: contemplating nullness and emptiness and numbers, thoughts drifted to Three Dog's Night's lyrics "Cause one is the loneliest number that you'll ever do / One is the loneliest number, worse than two")

One Gorilla by Atsuko Morozumi

The narrator counts the things she loves (which are tenderly portrayed) “Here is a list of things I love. One gorilla. 2 butterflies among the flowers. And one gorilla. Three budgerigars in my house and one gorilla."  Counting as an expressive act.

Note: now that I think about it, the artwork reminds me of Henri Rousseau, painter of imaginary jungles (and subject of my upcoming book from Eerdmans).

 

MATHterpieces- the Art of Problem Solving by David Schwartz

Opposite a reproduction of 12 famous paintings are related items that the reader is asked to group in different ways. Dali's painting The Persistence of Memory is accompanied by the verse, "Is it a dream or is it real? / It's hard to know when art's surreal. / Dali's clocks once so precise-- / now they're melting just like ice. / Find SEVEN ways to make an 8 / group the CLOCKS, it's getting late."

Adding up melting clocks sounds like fun to me. As an advocate of exposing children to the visual arts, which rely on math (pattern, balance, repetition...) to work their charms,  I like the pairing of math and masterpiece here.

1-2-3 A Child’s First Counting Book by Alison Jay.

 

The gorgeous artwork conveys the emotion in this book, inviting the reader to enter a magical kingdom and count its fairy tale elements. When I opened this the first time, I sighed with happiness.

Marvelous Math, edited by Lee Bennett Hopkins.

This fancifully illustrated book will get readers thinking about the many ways math touches their lives.  It includes this lovely poem by my friend Joan Graham:

Nature Knows Its Math

      

         Divide

         the year

         into seasons,

         four,

         subtract

         the snow then

         add

         some more

         green,

         a bud,

         a breeze,

         a whispering

         behind

         the trees,

         and here

         beneath the

         rain-scrubbed

         sky

         orange poppies

         multiply.

  --© Joan Bransfield Graham

Check out a past post from Miss Rumphius for a list of math books incorporating poetry.

With my book Tyrannosaurus Math I hope to bring cheer to the word problem genre (subject of several postings here). For more information about how that book was written please visit Cynsations Craft, Career and Cheer.   Thank you Cynthia!

P.S. Please revisit this wonderful math themed poem by Mary Cornish at Poetry 180. HAPPY NEW YEAR from TC&TF!

Dinosaurs in the Library

Where has the year gone. On Saturday I did my last author program of 2009 at Los Angeles Public Library's (Central Branch) KLOS Theater. After reading  Tyrannosaurus Math,

I had fun talking about dinosaur fossils (Boy, has T-Rex been in the news lately! My favorite article was about the tiny ancestor Raptorex) and math. I have kids draw objects/clues out of a bag. What would a ruler, a calendar, a map, and a $100 bill have to do with paleontology?

We made a leaf pictograph, just like T-Math did in the book, and also grouped members of the audience to show different number combinations that add up to ten. I love getting the kids involved.

Thanks, FOCAL,  for inviting me and my imaginary dinosaur into this classy venue. As always, it was a pleasure.

Happy Holidays to all from The Cat and The Fiddle! May 2010 bring you health, happiness, and delightful stories.